So last week I was labelled a ‘Neutral Black Girl’, it’s not the first time someone has described me that way and I don’t blame them, there’s a stereotype of how black girls are which I don’t fit into on first impression but once I’m completely comfortable around people I turn into an aunty, probably still not in that stereotype but an Aunty nonetheless. Anyway, the comment came about after I shared about how P!nk used to bring out my inner white girl to which my colleague suggested something along the lines of there not being anything inner about my white girl because of the way I act and speak. I don’t know how to even take comments like that so they just get the “okay” and then we move on. I was never into music like Paramore when I was younger and I never was part of the Mindless Behaviour fan group, it was was always people that were just in the middle – with the exception of Missy Elliot, I loved Missy Elliot. And after a certain stage I literally only listened to gospel music all the way till sixth form when Kendrick Lamar creeped into my music playlists and then when I got to uni I got more into the UK afrobeats but even then I’m not the most up to date person when it comes to any kind of music. Anyway I feel like my faith, the music I indulge in and my lack of worldly life experience probably have a hand in how I am as a person today. It’s a shame that my “normal” behaviour classes me as someone who is likened to a white person but that’s the black community for you, I guess.
Last Thursday I was enticed into going to a fancy restaurant (Quaglino’s) for my girl Rachel’s birthday. There was a doorman, the receptionist was a pretty blonde woman with the stinkiest stink face, all the waiters were foreign and there was a live band that reminded me of La La Land. I learned a lot in that small space of time – always trust your gut instinct on what food to order and never spend more than £10 for a 50ml shot of gin and lemonade.
On the Sunday after church and after visiting the newest addition to the family, I was back in London again for the debut of The Eating Club which has 3 members so far (myself, Whitney and sugar bro). We visited Kate’s Cafe in Plaistow which was amazing as always, although I do feel like we were tricked into spending more than what we bargained for because they had run out of the yam platter (which would’ve been £17) I don’t even know where all the coins went but it’s safe to say the last two weeks have been a mega cash loss and I need to really watch where my coins go.
This week was uneventful apart from signing my new contract to working full time which is going to be painful but worth it while I watch my savings grow. Working on customer services has taught me that rich people can be as stingy as the next man, it’s quite interesting.
I’ve started indulging into writing and need to spend some time praying about and planning how that’s going to go down because at the moment anything I do in terms of creativity is just to satisfy myself more than to get noticed or have anyone compliment me, but I’m definitely open to constructive criticism if anyone has some to share with me!
I did have some kind of epiphany though – I need to stop doing things without praying first. I find that I do almost everything in that way and then when things start going wrong I’m crying out for God to save me. So I’m going to try this with a new approach and see how that works out for me. I’ve also been watching Steven Furtick’s ‘Triggered’ series on YouTube and I think that’s a really good message especially for our generation, I’ll link the playlist in. I never used to watch his sermons but somehow ended up on this series and felt like it was so relevant to how I felt and still feel about different situations and circumstances in my life.
I hope you gain something from the sermons if you do decide to watch.
Peace and love,